Rainwear Central Rainwear Forum

Two girls Becky and Kim have been friends for some time,
they where on the big side but was happy with the way they looked, Becky had been hopping to go away with Kim for a weekend brake as they where starting to be more then just friends.
so Kim I would like for us to go way next weekend would you like that Becky asked hooo yes where you know the weather is not going to be nice Kim said yes but lets go anyway, OK Becky I will book something the next day Becky was online and finds a small boat they could have for not a lot of money so she books it with out thinking of what Kim sad, when Kim comes home Becky tells her she has booked a boat for at weekend Kim says did you not here what I sad about the weather thunder storms and high winds and with the size we are I don't know if we could find any rain wear Becky had be into plastic PVC rain wear raincoat and almost anything like that. Since she was 16 when there mum sent her to school in a rainstorm but did not have the money for a raincoat. So her girlfriend she had been seeing at school phoned Becky to say about the rain Becky was upset as she did not want to get wet so the girl on the phone tilled her she could wear her raincoat, Becky sad no we will share its, so they walk to school under the coat and Becky kissed her and thank her for protecting her from the rain. Becky know this is how she was going to get Kim PVC, plastic rain wear she had want to have sex with Kim in plastic for sometime but did not know how to ask now with them on a boat in the rain there would be more of a change this could happen, Kim I am sure we can find something knowing she already had one raincoat, Becky had three raincoat but as she put on wight it was hard for her to fit into them so she swap the three small ones with a friend who had find a secondhand size 20 black 3/4 PVC raincoat with a hood it smiled a bit but it was hers, we can find one on eBay Kim its going to be OK I will only go if you find us both a raincoat each Kim said to Becky who was more then happy with that so that night Becky ordered all and any raincoat at where plastic or PVC she could find that many fit them, Becky cry's out to Kim who was in the bath sexy I have order 8 in case some not don't fit us as they where only mark L or XL, Right lets hope thay get here in time thank you and I love you Kim yells out, this was on the Monday night, On Wednesday Becky was working from home she is about to make a cup of tea when the doors bell ring she runs to to the door post man please sign here these are for you Becky signs and takes the packets into the hill way close the door and starts to open them like its Xmas day, the first and only one she manages to open was blue very heavy PVC raincoat with a hood it looks old but was 15 pounds see looks at it and starts to see Kim in it who was out at working wishing she was here to put it on she cums right here just by looking at it, The ladel says a size 24 so Kim should be able to get it, once Becky has recovered she put the raincoat into a hanger and put the others which are still in the packets into a case and say to her self it will be more fun to open these once on the boat.

Chapter 2

days have come and gone its now Friday 7am and there has been no more post and there are still 4 more raincoat to come.
But what has made days more hard for Becky is that Kim has not put on the Blue raincoat, Becky has been trying so hard to get her to put it on,
Like say do you want to go out to night for a drink its looks like rain way don't you put the raincoat on Becky showed Kim that Black one she has been hiding buy say it come with the others but Kim has showing no interest,
Becky is packing for tomorrow they are on the boat at 5am so out at 4am its a 45 mint drive to the boat and Becky know Kim will have to put the raincoat on as they the Walther man say been saying all morning rain and wind from 4pm today and its here for the weekend and into the next week Becky was hoping Kim was going to wear the raincoat to day but did not, An hour into packing the door bell rings it was to postman with the other fore raincoat Becky runs down stars opens the door sighs thanks the post man and run back up stairs and with out opening them puts in into the case , Becky Finnish up packing cleans up and goes to watch a bit of TV. She must of fill a sleep as she wakes to the sound of phone ring looks she at the clock it 5.15 Pm. It was Kim
Becky I please you are in can you please come and get me the bus has broking down and I am stuck its so wet I have taken cover under an old bus stop buses do not stop here and the next bus stop is 35 mints way and I am so cold, OK I will come and get you Becky runs to get the raincoat for Kim and her one what a start to the weekend now I get to see Kim in a PVC raincoat, Becky put her raincoat on, what if I put Kim raincoat on it will keep it dry so she put Kim raincoat on as will

More to come

Your story has potential, but it is almost totally unreadable in its present format for various reasons. I can't tell where some sentences begin or end. There is no paragraphing or spacing. There are also no speech marks to denote narrative (speech) and you also need to separate everything too, so we can tell who is speaking. Also, its a good idea checking for spelling errors because even one error can dramatically alter the meaning of a particular sentence or even a whole paragraph.

I've taken the liberty of editing it; can you see how much difference it makes? Hope this is OK with you. I've hardly changed the text or dialogue, other than correcting confusing spelling or grammatical errors.

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Two girls Becky and Kim have been friends for some time. They were on the big side but were happy with the way they looked. Becky had been hoping to go away with Kim for a weekend break as they where starting to be more then just friends.

"So ... Kim, I would like for us to go away next weekend. Would you like that?" Becky asked.

"Hooo yes ... Where? You know the weather is not going to be nice," Kim said.

"Yes, but lets go anyway," Becky replied.

"OK Kim, I will book something."

The next day Becky was online and finds a small boat they could have for not a lot of money so she books it without thinking about what Kim said. When Kim comes home, Becky tells her she has booked a boat for the weekend.

Kim says, "Did you not hear what I said about the weather? They forecast thunderstorms and high winds. And with the size we are, I don't know if we could find any rainwear."

Well, it makes a pleasant change to see that I'm not the first to ask the writer to use some grammar in their posts.

And that's in spite of the fact that many people have howled me down when I've done so in the past.

So I didn't read it and won't until somebody does something.

I don't normally like saying anything, but this was so badly written that it actually was unreadable.

mason wrote:I don't normally like saying anything, but this was so badly written that it actually was unreadable.

True & fair comment

Read / looked at first two lines & gave up

has potential but terribly written, where do some people learn their writing skills?
I appologise for any mistakes but written on an ipad and I cannot see what i am writing.

you think this is bad but I work in typesetting and some of the rubbish I have to deal with from supposedly educated people, academics even, who have submitted manuscripts to publishers, it comes as no surprise that the stadard of education is so poor

It may not be education that's the problem but a lack of experience when it comes to writing stories, I once put a 2 part story up on the forum some years ago, I knew to put spoken words in quotes but didn't know each spoken part should be on it's own line, we live and learn!

I suspect this is what happens when you type in a big hurry.....with one hand.