Laura’s trench coat, first story, thoughts appreciated!

Stories and fantasies about rainwear.
rubberraving
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Joined: August 18th, 2011, 7:39 pm
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Laura’s trench coat, first story, thoughts appreciated!

Post by rubberraving » October 25th, 2017, 3:11 pm

Charlie opened his eyes and groaned. 6.20am on a Sunday, far too early. Nelson was barking and in the distance he could hear a car alarm screeching through the air. He waited but it refused to calm down...time to get up.
Flicking the curtain he saw blue skies...coffee and a dog walk to blow the cobwebs away then. He dressed, made a cuppa for the road, got the dog ready and ventured outside. The alarm was deafening, too loud for both of them so they ran quickly through the streets and into the meadow that led to the river. As they reached the water the noise faded, replaced by birdsong. Much better. Charlie let Nelson off the lead, strolled, sipped and smiled...peace at last! Man and hound both enjoyed this walk and the riverside looked spectacular in the morning light.
There was a lock a mile up the river and Charlie liked looking at the narrow boats moored up. He’d always fancied living on one but the dark damp winter nights had put him off. Once he got to the lock, he stopped to finish his coffee on the bench, with Nelson sitting next to him. As he put the mug to his lips he heard a ‘swish, crunch, swish, crunch’, looked to his right, and was mesmerised.

Long brown hair blowing in the breeze. Brilliant blue eyes. She was beautiful but it was her outfit that hooked him. She wore the shiniest black wellies Charlie had ever seen, her long legs were glistening in black patent jeans and she wore a semi-transparent blue plastic trench coat belted tightly around her, a white tank top visible beneath the soft, supple plastic. She stopped by the bench. “Lovely day,” she said with a smile. “You’re beautiful...erm, yes, it’s beautiful” Charlie stuttered. She laughed, then leaned across to stroke Nelson. Her raincoat rustled as she tickled the dog’s ears and the plastic shimmered when she stretched out her arm. Charlie noticed the wrist cuffs had been buckled tight and the shiny material encased her arms like a glove. His eyes lingered a little too long on her sleeve. “I see you like my coat! Are you walking far? I saw you in the meadow when my taxi dropped me off and thought a walk along the river was just what I needed. I’m so pleased I saw you, otherwise I would have gone straight to bed!”
Charlie wasn’t sure what to say, and chose to ignore her comment about the coat. “I’m just heading back, I got woken by a car alarm and needed to escape the noise. Were you out last night? You’re looking very fresh if so!”
The woman laughed. “Thank you! Yes, I was out at a fashion show then a club, the music was amazing. It was a fantastic night but I needed some fresh air. I think I’m going to head back too, do you fancy some company? I’m Laura.”
She smiled and offered her hand. Charlie stood up and shook her hand, taking in her slender fingers and multicoloured glossy nails. “I’m Charlie. Sure, I think Nelson likes you so let’s walk together. And yes, your coat looks amazing! And I don’t think I’ve ever seen such shiny boots, they are like mirrors. I’m not sure they are the usual walking attire! What fashion show was it?”
Laura giggled. “No, these boots do like the countryside but they get shined very regularly, I have some special polish for them. And the fashion show was my own, I make my own clothes. Mainly outerwear and trench coats, so I’m wearing one of my own designs. I’m very pleased you like it! I love working with plastic, but I use pvc, leather, canvas and even latex.”
They chatted and walked, voices accompanied by the swish of Laura’s coat and the crunch of gravel under wellies. Before long they were back to the meadow, then back into the urban jungle. As they walked down the first tree-lined street down from the meadow, Laura stopped by a house with a deep blue door. “This is me”, she said. “It was lovely to meet you, thanks for the company!” She leant in to kiss Charlie on the cheek, and as she did so gave him a hug, giggling again. Charlie breathed heavily, subconsciously the creaking sound of Laura’s coat and the sensation of plastic wrapped around him had made him hard. Laura moved, placed her hands on his waist, looked at him with her blue eyes and kissed him on the lips. She smiled, turned, and opened the door. “See you around!” The door closed and Charlie stood, confused and horny. He definitely needed more early morning walks! It was a short stroll back to his house and he went inside with Nelson. Already an eventful day and he hadn’t even had breakfast.

Later that day Charlie was still dazed from the morning encounter. Laura was beautiful, that was one thing, but the feelings when she put her arms around him wearing that plastic trench coat were incredible. He could still smell the plastic aroma, hear the crackle and feel the slippery softness on his fingers. Just thinking about it made him hard again. He had always been excited to see shiny outfits in film and music videos but they’d never made him react this way. He shook his head and tried to think of the best way to see Laura again. Short of knocking on her door he couldn’t think of anything. Oh well, an idea might come to him but it was time to walk Nelson. He put his jacket on and checked the pockets for bags. What was this? Charlie looked at what he was holding. In his palm was a small embossed card. Taranis Couture, then a number. Simple, bold. Laura must have slipped it into his pocket when they had kissed!

Charlie was ecstatic! If she’d left her number then surely she wanted him to call? He didn’t care about seeming too eager, he needed to seize the moment. Laura would be well rested now and he wanted to hear her voice again. Trembling, he dialed the number. It seemed to ring forever, and then he heard “Hello?” Just hearing her voice made him tingle. “Hi, it’s Charlie...from this morning...er...by the river.”
“Hello Charlie.” She sounded mischievous.
“I found your card so thought I’d say hello. Did you get some rest?”
“I did, thank you. I’m just in my workshop, thinking about some menswear lines actually. I think you’d like them.”
“Sounds interesting, I’d love to see them. Erm, listen, no pressure but I just wondered if you’d like to have a drink later? I’d love to get to know you more, can’t believe I’ve not seen you out and about, we’re practically neighbours!”
“I gave you my card because I wanted to see you Charlie, a drink sounds fab. What about 8pm at the George?”
“Perfect, can’t wait, see you there!”
Charlie was over the moon. As he walked Nelson he wondered what the evening had in store. He had an early dinner, showered and wondered what to wear. Nothing too fancy, but make an effort, he thought. He got dressed, took a deep breath, and ventured out to the George, 5 minutes down the road. As he walked in he scanned the room. Then he saw her, at the bar, ordering a drink. She looked amazing! Her long hair was down, flowing over a bright pink cashmere sleeveless sweater. Her jeans looked sprayed on and she wore Converse, not canvas but polished black rubber. Charlie felt a tingle and went up to the bar.
“Hello again”
“Charlie! Hello!”
She kissed him on the cheek. She smelt of citrus and coconut.
“You look lovely. What are you drinking?”
“Just a cheeky g’n’t. I found a little nook over there.”
She nodded round the bar and Charlie saw she had brought her coat, folded over one of the chairs. He smiled as he ordered his own drink and paid. They walked to their spot, chinked glasses, and the conversation flowed. It turned out that Laura moved in a month ago and was new to the area. She had been a designer for a traditional trench coat manufacturer and set up her own label a few years ago. She loved the outdoors and wanted to create versatile waterproof clothing that could be fashionable even when it wasn’t tipping it down. She wore her designs out all the time to test people’s reactions, and if they were positive then they went into production. “This has had a very positive reaction.” She nodded to the coat and smiled, with a twinkle in her eye. Before they knew it, the bar called last orders. Laura put her hand on Charlie’s arm.
“If you want, come back to mine and we can have a nightcap in my workshop, I’ll show you some of my collection. Some of it is a little ‘out there’ so I hope you get where I’m coming from.”
Charlie nodded. The way he was feeling, Laura could have said anything and he would have agreed. She was smart, stunning, creative and cheeky in all the right ways. He stood up and watched Laura slip into her trench coat. Buttoning her up he couldn’t resist putting his hands on her waist and kissing her. “Come on!”
Laughing she pulled away, grabbed his hand and led him out of the pub. It was a quiet evening and the swish of her coat seemed to echo through the night. She giggled as they arrived, unlocked the door and turned on the lights.

Mikmac77
Posts: 23
Joined: March 3rd, 2017, 4:51 pm
Location: S.Glos

Re: Laura’s trench coat, first story, thoughts appreciated!

Post by Mikmac77 » October 25th, 2017, 3:23 pm

Please continue, this looks very promising, loved it!!!

MacRobin
Posts: 6
Joined: October 16th, 2017, 4:37 pm

Re: Laura’s trench coat, first story, thoughts appreciated!

Post by MacRobin » October 25th, 2017, 6:16 pm

Excellent.

I assume you want intelligent feedback. ;)

The theme "male fetish addict encounters female unsatisfied fetishee" whilst out for a walk with dog is brilliant, although not new. I have done this. We all crave for it so it works when the genre is used. One difference is that I called the dog in my tale "Cooper". Nelson is even better.

OK rubberraving I am a writer and publisher of all things including fetish on Amazon and I have to pay attention to the technicalities.

You need to separate dialogue in clearly delineated lines of text.

So for example 3 lines of your text

day,” she said with a smile. “You’re beautiful...erm, yes, it’s beautiful” Charlie stuttered. She laughed, then leaned across to stroke Nelson. Her raincoat rustled


need formatting thus:

day,” she said with a smile.

“You’re beautiful... erm, yes, it’s beautiful.” Charlie stuttered.

She laughed, then leaned across to stroke Nelson. Her raincoat rustled

And you see that Charlie's bit of speech is clearly delineated and also the speech is tagged by "Charlie stuttered" so we know who is speaking.

These are just technicalities. The main thing is your story and your prose.

It is a small thing, but I would make Laura much harder to get. Charlie is far too naive. Laura wpuld have no time for him on first meet because he is not god's gift.. Maybe even make the first encounter a disaster and she flaunts off. But of course they both come back the next day because they both want it. Do we agree that encountering women dressed in our fetish fabric is rare and when it happens (it does!) it needs nurturing and cultivating. It does happen so we must write it real, as iot happens.

I will stop there. People who meet me for the first time, especially women, declare that I am arrogant and they huff puff off. But the women usually come back when they realise I am not arrogant but just speaking the truth; it is just my way of saying how it is.

Keep writing rubberraving !

MacRobin
Posts: 6
Joined: October 16th, 2017, 4:37 pm

Re: Laura’s trench coat, first story, thoughts appreciated!

Post by MacRobin » October 25th, 2017, 6:19 pm

Excellent.

I assume you want intelligent feedback. ;)

The theme "male fetish addict encounters female unsatisfied fetishee" whilst out for a walk with dog is brilliant, although not new. I have done this. We all crave for it so it works when the genre is used. One difference is that I called the dog in my tale "Cooper". Nelson is even better.

OK rubberraving I am a writer and publisher of all things including fetish on Amazon and I have to pay attention to the technicalities.

You need to separate dialogue in clearly delineated lines of text.

So for example 3 lines of your text

day,” she said with a smile. “You’re beautiful...erm, yes, it’s beautiful” Charlie stuttered. She laughed, then leaned across to stroke Nelson. Her raincoat rustled


need formatting thus:

day,” she said with a smile.

“You’re beautiful... erm, yes, it’s beautiful.” Charlie stuttered.

She laughed, then leaned across to stroke Nelson. Her raincoat rustled

And you see that Charlie's bit of speech is clearly delineated and also the speech is tagged by "Charlie stuttered" so we know who is speaking.

These are just technicalities. The main thing is your story and your prose.

It is a small thing, but I would make Laura much harder to get. Charlie is far too naive. Laura would have no time for him on first meet because he is not god's gift.. Maybe even make the first encounter a disaster and she flaunts off. But of course they both come back the next day because they both want it. Do we agree that encountering women dressed in our fetish fabric is rare and when it happens (it does!) it needs nurturing and cultivating. It does happen so we must write it real, as it happens.

I will stop there. People who meet me for the first time, especially women, declare that I am arrogant and they huff puff off. But the women usually come back when they realise I am not arrogant but just speaking the truth; it is just my way of saying how it is.

Keep writing rubberraving !

hotwilly
Posts: 1520
Joined: March 17th, 2011, 9:03 pm
Location: Lincolnshire

Re: Laura’s trench coat, first story, thoughts appreciated!

Post by hotwilly » October 25th, 2017, 6:24 pm

Read's well, story line very promising - please continue
Broad minded enough to acknowledge we all enjoy different things:)

rubberraving
Posts: 39
Joined: August 18th, 2011, 7:39 pm
Contact:

Re: Laura’s trench coat, first story, thoughts appreciated!

Post by rubberraving » October 25th, 2017, 6:32 pm

Thanks Mikmac77 and MacRobin, all feedback appreciated. I have to say I didn’t pay too much attention to format as I wrote it on my phone but fair comment about defining the speech.
As for Laura being much harder to get, I have a feeling she might be the one in control here...we will have to wait and see! Or maybe she just loves dogs and Nelson has clouded her judgement ;)
You would love a book I read a while back, written entirely without speech marks. Slightly confusing to read but it sold an awful lot of copies!

rubberraving
Posts: 39
Joined: August 18th, 2011, 7:39 pm
Contact:

Re: Laura’s trench coat, first story, thoughts appreciated!

Post by rubberraving » October 25th, 2017, 6:32 pm

And hotwilly, thanks ;)

rubbermackintosh
Posts: 57
Joined: September 13th, 2014, 7:59 pm
Location: Gran Canaria

Re: Laura’s trench coat, first story, thoughts appreciated!

Post by rubbermackintosh » October 25th, 2017, 8:19 pm

Good start.

Laura sounds like a lady after my own heart and I feel sure that my Marco would like her too.

HeatherluvsPVC
Posts: 95
Joined: August 20th, 2016, 3:35 pm

Re: Laura’s trench coat, first story, thoughts appreciated!

Post by HeatherluvsPVC » November 12th, 2017, 9:54 am

Love the story, don't care if it is a well used scenario or not. Just get on with part 2 please
Heather

wellmac67
Posts: 22
Joined: May 31st, 2010, 11:59 am

Re: Laura’s trench coat, first story, thoughts appreciated!

Post by wellmac67 » November 12th, 2017, 1:18 pm

Don't keep us waiting too long for the next episode. The only thing I would change is the colour of Laura's mac, I would choose green, I imagine for the same reason you have chosen blue.

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