People that don't/won't understand.

All rainwear discussions in general or that do not fit into other categories.
Fender

Re: People that don't/won't understand.

Post by Fender »

Hi chris.that sounds not good to me.i cant understand why your parents acting that way.there are lots of things which are more bad than a rainwear fetish.keep your head up and do what you want to do.my girl has a problem with my rainwear fetish but in the end she accept it and we dont speak about it.my collection is not that big,i keep my items in a shoppingbag on the attic.i am good that way.cheers ;)
mason
Posts: 762
Joined: February 2nd, 2010, 3:34 am

Re: People that don't/won't understand.

Post by mason »

I'm very deeply sorry to hear that, DJ - learning how to understand, accept and ultimately enjoy "different" fetishes such as ours is that much harder when you're forced to deal with intolerant attitudes like these (which stem from lack of understanding and/or fear).

My parents (particularly my mother) were neither understanding or tolerant of my bondage or rainwear kinks when I was younger and it coloured my attitude towards everything for years. Like you, I also felt ashamed and guilty; and I also had to try and hide everything well out of sight. Fortunately my mother (Dad passed away last year) is a lot more tolerant now, if not exactly understanding and I no longer have to hide everything if she comes visit or anything.

Some of my earliest partners were less than understanding regarding rainwear, but I have since met one terrific woman who is more than happy to go along with everything, because she knows how much it means to me, so I've been very fortunate in that regard.

It was not until the Internet arrived that I really realised that I was not alone, and that fetishes such as rubber, plastic, leather, cross-dressing, bondage (to name but a few), far from being "bad", are actually highly commonplace and very normal. It is our very differences in terms of gender, colour, nationality, religious beliefs and *gasp* sexuality which make us human.

What a boring would it would be if everyone was blonde, tall and beautiful without any other distinguishing features. How easy would it be to fall in love with someone if they all looked, acted and thought in the same way? A lot of people never stop to think about this!!

Anyway, I would like to reiterate that you are NOT alone, that your desires are absolutely normal. You don't need a fucking p-shrink to tell you that (or try brainwash you into thinking otherwise).

I realise that I have little idea of your other supposed personal circumstances other than your supposed "autism" (you communicate very clearly here, so you clearly are far from disabled in that sense) or nationality, so my suggestions are based on what you said below.

May I make one suggestion: why don't you sit down with your parents and talk to them about your rainwear fetish and explain what it means to you, how it makes you feel when you wear plastic or PVC. Explain how you feel about being made to feel like a pervert because you like wearing rainwear and being forced to hide everything. Show them this website and our Flickr photo streams (mine is "Two Sexy SeaChels") and various rainwear websites (Shiny Asian Girls or PVC Dreams etc etc) that exist online if you're brave enough.

If your parents care for you half as much as I hope they do, they will understand and respect what you're saying. Who know, it might turn out to make a real difference?

You probably won't like my second suggestion, but if you are in a position where you can move out of home (i.e working etc), I would go for it, even though I know it'll be tough breaking those parental nursestrings. Living with parents (no matter how understanding they are) makes it too easy for them to control or influence you. You will be far happier in the long run, not least because you won't have to hide your fetish in the privacy of your own home.

Hope this helps, and good luck!!
Hugo
Posts: 63
Joined: December 6th, 2010, 10:09 pm

Re: People that don't/won't understand.

Post by Hugo »

You should insist on some privacy for yourself. Your personal affairs are none of the business of your parents unless you want to share them with them. It would be different if you were collecting weapons or dealing drugs, but having a fetish for pvc is absolutely legal. If your parents don't want to see you wearing pvc, you can't do anything about it, but then they should not enter your room without your permission. And of course, they aren't allowed to intercept your mail. Tolerance is two-sided, it must be performed by both sides. Of course, that means as well, that you have to tolerate their opinion about pvc and do your best not to provoke them; it doesn't mean though, that you have to abstain from wearing pvc at all, you don't even need to lie to them about it, just keep it private.

There is only one thing you can do about the opinion of your parents: Talk to them and try to find out, why they believe, that they have the right to forbid you wearing pvc and the right to intercept your parcels. Perhaps, you should look for a neutral person to help you with this, it could be your counsellor for example.
merv
Posts: 1159
Joined: January 19th, 2010, 4:44 pm

Re: People that don't/won't understand.

Post by merv »

I am a little puzzled why you would even discuss your fetishes with parents. It seems a strange kind of thing to do. Do they discuss their sex life with you as well? All seems very odd.
top_cat
Posts: 29
Joined: September 9th, 2010, 6:29 pm

Re: People that don't/won't understand.

Post by top_cat »

Firstly, I imagine my comments may draw some criticism, but I say them only to balance arguments so I hope you can understand this.

I would say that the biggest problem with having such a fetish (hate that term, don't know why!), regardless of being either guy or gal, is that its a Catch 22 situation. If you suppress your feelings then you easily become frustrated, yet the more you delve into your feelings, the more your activities take a grip on your daily life. That is, generally speaking, the hypothesis.

But you should never feel ashamed about your feelings. This is the 21st Century and anyone who is clued-up will tell you that the concept of 'a fetish' is an inevitable for almost everyone in the Western world; its a complete biological 'process', not a switch that person can just flick at some point in their life. A fetish develops because of exposure to particular stimuli, yet it is the stimuli in question that still confuses many as to how it co-ordinates with erotica. I actually find the science very interesting, and of course it doesn't just have to involve rainwear.

The most important time of my life was my teens, because it gave me a chance to explore my feelings and try to pin-point what I actually 'liked'. I'm in my 20's now, but I can tell you that this period of my life is more enjoyable because its an exploration phase. I don't let rainwear or related goods take over my life - rather, I create my own rules. I absolutely don't let my fetish interfere with personal relationships, as I feel this would be the point at which the activity becomes destructive, and then you end up questioning "What is really important to me?"

Of course, even I've been through a phase of only dating girls if I felt they had similar 'feelings'. Yet looking back, I reflect both positively and negatively. From the positive point of view, when those relationships were briefly successful, I always felt a mutual understanding with my partner at that point in my life, and that was very important to me. It re-assured me that I wasn't alone, and would make the two of us feel special, which was always great! But from the negative angle, it severely hampers your outlook of what a relationship should mean.

What do I even mean by that? I guess that depends on where you live perhaps, or luck in general, but I can assure you now that'the rainwear/gear is what I would describe as a 'Sub-Fetish', for it merely presents only a collection of attributes that, when culminated, form a single answer. And I won't lie in telling you that almost all my friends and partners have been attracted to 'that' single answer, and all the fet's that culminate from it, such as rainwear. I've yet to find a partner who hasn't found it erotic - the only reason some may doubt they do is, quite simply, because they haven't had the opportunity to explore these clothing's whereas men must obviously do.

As I said earlier, the shall we say 'popularity' of this fet where I live is staggering, and I really hope you come away from this post with a new found confidence. Don't be afraid to embrace your feelings, and don't feel ashamed just because others don't have it or choose to suppress it. But at the same time, the moral is to reflect upon just how much it means to you. We all have different personalities, and this greatly affects how much we 'need' our fet on a daily basis. I have a lot of willpower, and if i'm home alone it gives me great pleasure to have a dress-up, but it gives me an even greater pleasure to take the opportunity outdoors to express myself and show others that I'm happy being protected.

Be proud of who you are, and be considerate in living the dream ;)

T
neil
Posts: 162
Joined: January 18th, 2010, 8:09 pm

Re: People that don't/won't understand.

Post by neil »

My first reaction to your post was to think that at 29 years of age your parents should treat you as a mature adult who has his own likes and wishes,however strange these may seem to them.
Also,I think you should try and emphasise this fact too;part of growing is recognising that at times we have to be a little forceful;a little confrontational even,towards people who we love and respect.
Disposing of your possessions without your permission seems a particularly dispicable thing to do.I'm sure legally that is tantamount to theft.
Family issues can be fraught with difficulty though.I wish you the best in trying to resove things in a satisfactory way.
rainfash
Posts: 118
Joined: June 16th, 2010, 4:10 pm
Contact:

Re: People that don't/won't understand.

Post by rainfash »

I suppose that many people who don't have a festish, will definitely not accept ANY fetish at others.
The acceptance for fetish grows if you are into a thing, e.g. shiny latex clothes are more acceptable than shiny raincoats. Why ? Because more people are into shiny latex clothes than shiny raincoats.
Same applies to other fetish areas like leather, footwear, etc.
Wearing a raincoat is uncool - because the purpose of having to wear a raincoat is : bad weather. And who wants to have bad weather by nature, if you are not into raincoats ? Nobody.
So, the only people who want to have a bad weather are : raincoat lovers (exactly).
So the poeple who like bad weather are : perverts (exactly).
Sum : raincoat lovers are perverts.
This mindset does not apply to leather, or nylon, or shoues, or latex, because Latex will mostly be worn at discos or partys or sex - any time where people tend to have fun. Consecutively, it's not bad to love latex. Becuase it involves a good party feeling.
I know that sounds strange - but in many cases and opinions this might be true.
Same as for the shoe fetish : If somebody is into high heels, -it's nothing bad with it. Because high heels look fantastic in many guys opinion. And ladies like to wear it, too. And it's cool at parties.
But have you ever heard that people are turned on by raincoats ? No, just people who are from our "community".
Wearing raincoats is destructive and imposes a negative experience : it's uncomfortable, you might sweat (in PVC), and foul weather is outside.
And most people don't like the smell of plastic.
So, it's uncool and widely not accepted.
And if a male guy wears a women's raincoat, he is outed as to be gay.
Although many of us raincoat lovers are definitely not gay.
Right ?
I wish we would experience the same acceptance from our "non-raincoat" society.
Jjai
Posts: 275
Joined: January 19th, 2010, 9:15 pm

Re: People that don't/won't understand.

Post by Jjai »

Hello Chris.
This is the first time I have heard of that someone who has an interest in PVC / Raingear, has parents that are aware of it.

When I knew that I had reached a point where Pvc / Rubber Raingear was something serious in my life that I had to deal with and that posed a lot of questions l went to all sorts of lengths to make sure no-one knew especially my parents.
When I was around 15 years old, my Father found a big Yellow PVC raincoat in the garage that I had put there and I said I had just found it, not to make anything sound suspicious to him. Then I realised that to live with my 'Interest' (I also hate the word 'fetish' I think it belongs in a the seedy club scene) I had to be truthful and honest whenever I ran into someone who may guess my interest in Plastic Rainwear.

Later on my mother found a Red shiny PVC Mack that I had in the bedroom and the truth I told her was that it reminded me of my first girlfriend and I also needed a raincoat for sailing school - which was the truth but not all of it.

So what I say to you Chris is that you definately need your own space so YOU can feel natural with your desire for rainwear and have the privacy you should have at your age. As for your parents, sit down and think about giving them a rational explanation but not ALL of the facts why you are so attracted to PVC. Parents don't like thinking there could be anything 'different' about their children so let them think you are studying fashion & design or something that they can be comfortable with so that if you have your own place you can both be comfortable with your interest.
froggy
Posts: 20
Joined: January 19th, 2010, 3:36 pm

Re: People that don't/won't understand.

Post by froggy »

You can do something about the mail if you have the money to do so. Get yourself a box at the post office or a place with private boxes. Then at least you will have some control over the mail.
Hugo
Posts: 63
Joined: December 6th, 2010, 10:09 pm

Re: People that don't/won't understand.

Post by Hugo »

Are you simply going to accept the behaviour of your parents?
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